Gaps
by Radically-Red
Summary: Kerry has gaps in her life. They are soon to be filled. But what if the things that fill the gaps aren't what she wanted? What if they're the complete opposite? Juggling love, friendship and what's right, Kerry runs deeper into the mess that's her life. S
1. Chapter 1

_My long awaited (not!) CHERUB fic is mostly about Kerry. I think she is a seriously misunderstood character. _

_QUOTE FROM FIC: She has the burden of the whole world on her shoulders - so how much more can she take? _

_This is why I'm choosing to write this fic. It begins with a prolouge, the mission breifing. It's set after The Fall, so you'll have to read that and Divine Madness to understand this fic._

_PLOT: Kerry has gaps in her life. They are soon to be filled. But what if the things that fill the gaps aren't what she wanted? What if they're the complete opposite? Juggling love, friendship and what's right, Kerry runs deeper into the mess that's her life. She has the burden of the whole world on her shoulders - so how much more can she take? Set after The Fall, uses bits of The Fall and Divine Madness. Rated R for later chapters._

**Gaps - Prolouge - Mission Brefing.**

_**CLASSIFIED MISSION BREIFING**_

_**FOR JAMES ADAMS, KERRY CHANG, SHAKEEL DAJANI**_

_**& DANA SMITH**_

_**THIS DOCUMENT IS PROTECTED WITH A RADIO**_

_**FREQUENCY IDENTIFACATION TAG. **__**ANY**__** ATTEMPT**_

_**TO REMOVE IT FROM THE MISSION PREPARATION **_

_**BUILDING WILL SET OFF AN ALARM.**_

_**DO **__**NOT**__** PHOTOCOPY OR MAKE NOTES.**_

_MISSION BACKGROUND - THE DEVON MISSION_

_In 2006, a CHERUB went undercover to find infomation on a suspected drug plant. The task was to infiltrate the amature band 'The Rock' and it's members. All of them were suspects. The task also involved joining the band. The aim was to find out infomation about the various dealers and customers. The CHERUB found a suspected marijuana plants in one suspect's basement. The other suspects claimed to know nothing about the drug scheme. The police didn't have enough evidence to prosecute all of the band, only the one suspect - Jack 'JJ' Taylor - who's basement was being used to grow the marijuana. He refused to speak about the other band member's involvement in the drug plant. It was assumend he was working solo, and took 3 years in a juvinile delequent facility, untill his eighteenth birthday, then 12 years in prison._

_WHAT'S THAT GOT TO DO WITH IT?_

_In Devon, now, there are a__nonymous weapons dealers. All the evidence so far points to the members of 'The Rock'. However it's not enough evedence to go on. This is where the police force in Devon asked CHERUB to help._

_THE CHERUB MISSION_

_The main aim of this mission, is to make friends with the members of the band. Get close to them and find out their daily routine; Do they meet up regularly? Are all of them suspected to be selling weapons, or is it just one? To introduce the more CHERUBs going to the band, will be the CHERUB who discovered the drug plant, Kerry Chang._

_MISSION PLAN_

_Newly wed John and Chloe will move into a house on Kingsmeade Road - a few doors down from prime suspect and secondary suspects Craig Walker and Nick Evans - with their four adopted children. The family surname will be Mason. To minimise confusion, James, Shakeel and Dana will go by their original names, Kerry will go by Suze, as that was the name she had when she was last in Devon._

_PRIMARY OBJECTIVE:_

_Each agent will have one band member to befriend._

_James Adams : Mika Roberts_

_Kerry Chang : Nick Evans_

_Shakeel Dajani : Maureen 'MJ' Jones _

_Dana Smith : Craig Walker_

_If James, Shakeel and Dana succeed in befriending the band, their goal is to socialise and gather whatever infomation they can. With Kerry, though, it's slightly different. She's already known within the band, so she'll have easier and quicker access to infomation. And, with Dana and Kerry, it's a bit harder than James and Shakeel, because we've already established that Craig Walker and Nick Evans are definately members of the buisness. They'll know someone is after them, and will be suspicous of everyone. _

_NOTE: ON THE 13TH DAY OF JULY, 2007 THIS MISSION PLAN WAS PASSED BY THE CHERUB ETHICS COMMITTEE BY A 3:0 VOTE, ON THE CONDITIONS THAT ALL AGENTS UNDERSTOOD THE FOLLOWING:_

_This mission has been qualified MEDIUM RISK. All agents are reminded of their right to refuse to undertake this mission and to withdraw from it any time. Agents will be at risk from violence, usage of illegal weapons and the possibility of exposure to illegal drugs. Agents are reminded they will be excluded from CHERUB if they willingly take any class A drugs._


	2. Chapter 2

_NEXT CHAPTER...UP! The song in this chapter is 'Maroon 5 - She Will Be Loved.'_

_PLease read the author notes, they may hold something important. Now, I don't want to put off all of you readers, so this first chapter will be quite short._

_PLOT: Kerry has gaps in her life. They are soon to be filled. But what if the things that fill the gaps aren't what she wanted? What if they're the complete opposite? Juggling love, friendship and what's right, Kerry runs deeper into the mess that's her life. She has the burden of the whole world on her shoulders - so how much more can she take? Set after The Fall, uses bits of The Fall and Divine Madness. Rated R for later chapters._

_QUOTE: _

_They always say time changes, you actually have to change them yourself._

_-Andy Warhol_

_A few things about this fic; _

_This fic is based of this poem and a few emotions:_

_What do you get when you fall in love?_

_A guy with a pin to burst your bubble,_

_That's__ what you get for all your trouble,_

_I'll never fall in love again._

_-Hal David & Burt Bacharach_

_Can you guess the first emotion? That's right; love. And betrayal, and pain and anger. _

_This fic has several themes. The ones listed above are the main ones. _

_This is planned to be a very long fic, probally my longest yet, and may have a sequel._

narritive in normal

'speech in speech marks'

_songwords in italics_

**thoughts in bold**

(notes or (A/N: author notes) in brackets)

Gaps - Chapter 1

She Will Be Loved

Kerry Chang had alot of gaps in her life.

_I don't mind spending every day._

A gap of parents; they had died when she was small.

_Out on your corner in the pouring rain._

A gap of a steady home; she was knocked pillar-to-post on tons of missions, but when she was 'home' it was a boarding school.

_Look for the girl,_

A gap of friends; they were all paired up with girlfriends and boyfriends, so Kerry was left one her own and her weekends were constantally empty.

_With the broken smile._

A gap of a boyfriend; he had cheated on her, so she now found men unreliable.

_Ask her if she wants to stay a while._

A gap of love; for all the above.

_And she will be loved, yes she will be loved._

The gaps had joined up and had now formed a massive hole in her life.

_She will be loved, yes she will be loved._

But Kerry didn't care.

_Tap on my window,_

She didn't care because she was going back,

_Knock on my door, I_

Back to where she was loved.

_Want to make you feel you feel beautiful,_

When James was getting blown up in the Survivors Ark, Kerry was in Devon, busting up a drug plant.

_I know I tend to get so insecure,_

Now her, Shakeel, James and Dana were going back.

_Doesn't_ _matter; anymore_

The same kids who had been involved with the drug plant, were now pushing their luck and selling weapons now.

_It's not always rainbows and butterflys,_

It was now up to four teenagers to stop them.

_It's compromise, it moves us along, yeah,_

Kerry had made lots of good friends and she was exited to be going back. James and Dana were slightly dubious towards Kerry's sudden optimisn. Shakeel didn't notice the sudden change in Kerry's behaviour.

_My heart is fooling, my door's always open, you come anytime you want,_

The ride up to Devon was in silence. Chloe and John were in the front of John's 4x4 (A/N: Does that give you a clue 2 who's driving?), and the kids were in the two rows at the back. In the middle was Dana and James. In the back was Shakeel and Kerry, who kept snorting with laughter at some things Shakeel was drawing. Dana and James were listning to some unknown rock song on Dana's i-Pod, Kerry was listning loudly to _'Move Along' _by _'The All American Rejects' _on her own i-Pod. Dana was reading '_Lord of the Rings_', James was tapping on the window. Kerry was typing furiously into her laptop, whilst humming the words to her song. Shakeel was drawing, as he found he was quite good at it. As he showed Kerry a animated picture of a pig with Dana's face, rolling in mud, (she couldn't help but burst into laughter.)The car slowed down and everyone got out.

When all the bags were out of the 4x4 and into their respective bedrooms, Kerry ran off. James and Dana shared a glance, when Kerry went (stomped) down the stairs. Kerry was still a bit sour towards them.

Kerry then did the unexpected. She marched up the stairs and asked James, Dana and Shakeel: 'Do you want to go to Mika's house.?

James and Dana were shocked at Kerry's change of heart. But what they didn't know was that John and Chloe gave Kerry a stern lecture about involving _everyone_ in her plans from now on.

When they were out the front door, Kerry gave a quick breifing on everyone.

'Mika's quite musical. She's the lead singer or sometimes she does back-up if it needs a male singer. If it doesen't need back-up, she'll do second guitar or something else. Well, she's the founder of the band and she uses it as an excuse to rub it in people's faces.

'Craig does drums. He's your stereotypical drummer. Tattoos, peircings, shaven head, the occaisanal spliff; though I guess that could be said about everyone else. He's got a temper on him, though,

'Nick...' James thought he heard a sigh after the name.

'He's the main guitarist. He's sarcastic, witty, and _always_ has an awnser to _everything_. He takes the piss out of _everyone_.

'Mj, she's bass. Weird and wonderful. Wacky personality, _wicked_ sense of style.

'Then there's me. Suze (A/N: said _S-ooo-ze_) A basic filler for the band. Outgoing, quite loud.

'They've all had it hard-up so they don't take no crap. From anyone. They all act like the family they've never had. If you're in their camp; they'd fight and risk their lives for you. If you betray them; you get punished. You mess with one; you mess with all. That's the motto.

'Okay we're here. There's a band practice. Stay quiet unless asked a question. Let me do all the talking.'

_Author Notes_

_To be continued..._

_Ooohhhh... what happens next? I'm gonna end it here for now, don't forget, the second chapter will be posted soon. _

_Love 2 you all._

_Bex_


	3. Chapter 3

narritive in normal

'speech in speech marks'

_songwords in italics_

**thoughts in bold**

(notes or (A/N: author notes) in brackets)

Gaps - Chapter 1

She Will Be Loved (part 2)

Kerry opened the gate and lead the way into the front garden, the side alley, then into the garage.

The band was just finishing off '_Peice of my heart'_ by Janis Joplin (A/N: don't own it).

'_You know you got it;_

_If it makes you feel g-.'_ A the blonde who was singing, ran out of breath and cut off the song, shaking her head. The rest of the band stopped playing.

Kerry stepped forward, clapping.

'Very good.' She said. 'But...'

'Oh here we go.' mumbled the teen at the drums.

Kerry shot him a death glare.

He gave back a look that said; '_You're not my mother.'_

Kerry dished out; '_I'd be ashamed to be.'_

She then sighed. She had critisim for everyone.

'Mika you ran out of breath before the end strain. Work on your breathing points.

'Craig, remember your arm movements. Keep them graceful, not clumsy.

'MJ, tune up that bass before it deafens someone. And play up at the end. We _want _to hear that base line.

'Nick, good job.'

All the band, apart from Nick, sighed. Kerry had critism for _almost _everyone.

Nick opened his arms and Kerry flew into them. They almost immeidately started snogging.

Mika sighed.

'Well, there goes our lead guitarist.'

Shakeel gave her a puzzled look.

'When those two start, they never stop. Once they were at it for two whole hours. We had to pull them apart.'

Mika caught herself.

'I'm soo sorry. I'm Mika.' James didn't mind Mika. She wasn't as bad as most the girls back on campus.

'Craig.' said the guy at the drums. He had a deep, gruff voice, just like Dana expected him to.

'MJ.' mumbled a redhead, clinging to her bass for life. Shakeel didn't mind that she was shy, the shy girls were more fun to be around.

'And that's Nick.' Said Mika, pointing to the heap of Nick and Kerry on the floor.

'I'm James.' Said... you guessed it, James.

'Dana.' Said Dana.

'Shakeel.' said Shakeel, leaning against a wall, attempting to look cool.

'I've got an idea.' announced Craig.

'For once. Halleujah.' Said MJ sarcastically.

Craig ignored her.

'Mika, do you still have that whistle?'

'Hold on.' Mika grabbed her bag off the floor, then started rummaging through it.

She then pulled out a red whistle on a string.

'Ace,' said Craig 'I'll do cymbol. MJ, bass. Mika, the whistle. On the count of three. 1...2...3!'

The trio started playing as loud as they could. It didn't work.

If anything it made the kissing couple _closer_. Kerry now had her legs wrapped around Nick's waist, Nick was lying in between Kerry's legs.

MJ sighed.

'Craig, get the water, make sure it's cold. Mika , get some more, make sure it's hot.'

The two did as told and went out of the garage, into the kitchen. Soon they came back with two basins of water, one with steam coming out and the other with ice cubes in.

'On three. 1...2...3..now!'

Simultanously, the singer and the drummer tipped the two basins on the kissing couple. This time it worked.

They broke apart; Kerry screaming, Nick panting for breath.

'Great, I'm drenched. And I don't have a change of clothes. Even _better_.' Kerry drawled sacrastically, looking down at her drenched jeans and Stones t-shirt.

'Oh,' Mika suddenly realised something. 'When you were last down here, you left behind a duffel _full_ of clothes. Wife beaters, tanks, band shirts, shorts, stuff like that. All washed and ironed. If you want, you can borrow a pair of my converses. It's all in my room.'

'Oh thanks Mik (A/N: pronounced _M-eee-k_)' Kerry squealed. She then ran out of the garage to get changed.

'I suppose you want to get changed, too?' said MJ to Nick.

'Nah,' he said. 'Ithink I might stay like this. Y'know chicks dig the wet t-shirt look.' Nick started to flex his biceps. His toned abs were clearly

visible too.

'Doesen't bother us. Just don't moan when you get cold.' Craig said.

'I'll never get cold when Suze's (A/N: pronounced _S-ooo-ooo-z_) around.' Said Nick, just as Kerry came into the garage. She was dressed in a pair of black, knee low (knee high sounds stupid. It also makes them sound like knee high socks, which they're not) shorts. and a plain white blouse and a halter-neck waistcoat.

Nick made a move to give Kerry a hug. She immeidately backed away.

'Oh no you _don't_. If you give me a hug, I'll have to change again. And I just found the perfect outfit.' Kerry moaned.

Nick pouted.

'I guess I'll have to get changed then. Mik, I'm getting changed in your room; it's too cold in the bathroom.'

Mika only shrugged. 'Suit yourself.'

'Mik?' Kerry asked. 'How come Nick actually _has_ a change of clothes?'

'Oh yeah. We're having a sleepover and everyone's staying all weekend (A/N: It's Saturday).'

'Your parents are out of town. Aren't they?'

'Yep. How'd you guess?'

'Your mother would never let the boys stay around.'

'Well what they don't know, won't kill them.'

'If that doesen't, then the state of the house afterwards will.' Craig pitched in his two pence worth.

'Can us lot stay over?' Kerry asked, gesturing to the three CHERUBs and herself.

'Sure you can,' Mika said 'The more the merrier. Just call home, and get a duffel of clothes or something.'

Kerry nodded as Nick came into the garage, and put his arms round Kerry. She leant into his chest.

'So how's band practice going?' Kerry asked.

James, Dana and Shakeel were staying awfully quiet. Kerry found it strange they hadn't said anything much yet. Usually they talked a mile a minute.

'Not very good. Since you'd left, I had to replace you with piano, I'm not as good as you yet. I never really got past the first few lesson. And none of us know half of the instruments you do.'

'Good thing I'm back then.' said Kerry.

'Yeah, and I tried to do that Terra Naomi song, you're ace at. No avail, I was _crap_.'

'_And though they say it's possible_.' Kerry sang. 'That one?'

'Yeah, you can practice if you want. The acoustic's in the corner.'

'Okay.' Kerry said. She walked over to the guitar and inspected it. It was still in mint condition.

'You don't actually _use_ this, do you?' Kerry said to Mika.

'Only sometimes. It's a display peice.'

Kerry sighed.

'Does anyone have a pick I can borrow?' Asked Kerry.

Nick dug a red pick out of his pocket and gave it to Kerry. She smiled in thanks.

'Ahem,' Kerry cleared her throat, then put pick to guitar.

After a soft introduction, Kerry started to sing. The three CHERUBs didn't know what to expect, but the band did. All eyes were on Kerry as she started the song.

_I see the lights are turning  
And i look outside the stars are burning  
Through this changing time  
It could have been anything we want  
It's fine salvation was just a passing thought._

Don't wait act now  
This amazing offer won't last long  
It's only a chance to pave the path we're on  
I know there are more exciting things to talk about  
And in time we'll sort it out  


_And though they say it's possible to me  
I don't see how it's probable  
I see the course we're on  
Spinning farther from what i know  
I'll hold on  
Tell me that you won't let go  
Tell me that you won't let go_

James hadn't ever heard Kerry sing before, apart from sometimes when she was in the shower and mucking about, but he was plesantly suprised by her talent.

_This could be something beautiful  
Combine our love into something wonderful  
But times are tough i know  
And the pull of what we can't give up takes hold_

As Kerry's singing came to a close, everyone burst into applause. Kerry blushed and took a bow.

Mika brushed a tear from her eye. 'That was awesome.' She said.

'Now all you have to do is the piano and your violin.' Said Craig.

Kerry thought for a moment. 'Tell you what, I'll do some piano, now. But when I go back home to get my stuff, I'll bring the fiddle.'

'You're on.' Said MJ.

'Okay,' Kerry said, as she sat down in front of the grand piano, in the corner. 'Now what should I play?'

'The Mel C song, Carolyna.' Mika said.

'That's guitar.' said Kerry.

'Happy by Hilary Duff.' Suggested MJ.

Kerry considered the suggestion. 'Don't know _what_ that is.'

'Madonna, Promise To Try.' Said Dana.

'Oh my gosh!' exclaimed Mika. 'You know the one we did for the talent show.'

'Oh yeah.' Kerry realised. 'Good call Dana.'

Kerry started to play and after a while, sing.

_'Little girl,_

_don't you forget, her face,_

_laughing away, your tears,_

_when she was the one, _

_who felt all the pain.'_

Everyone got lost in the song, and before they knew it, the song was coming to a close.

_'Little girl,_

_you've got to forget the past,_

_and learn to forgive me,_

_I promise to try,_

_it feels so alive,_

_don't let memories, play games with your mind,_

_she's the faintest smile, rising in time,_

_still hanging on, but doing it wrong,_

_'Can't kiss her goodbye,_

_but I promise to try.'_

Mika now had tears streaming down her face. Kerry got up and enveloped her in a hug. James cleared his throat. He never knew what to do around crying girls. He made himself heard. 'I think we should phone John and Chloe to tell them we're staying over.' He said.

'Good idea.' Kerry said.

Mika had stopped crying so Kerry was okay to leave her.

'We'll be out in the hallway.' Kerry announced.

The four CHERUBs went through the a door by the grand piano, and up the stairs. They turned round the corner, to stand in front of the kitchen.

James pulled out his mobile and rang John's mobile. It awnsered almost immeidately.

'Hello James, what's up?' He asked.

'We're in with the band, but there's a sleepover tonight at Mika's house. Can we go?' James asked.

The other CHERUBs all had their ears against James phone, so they all heard John agree to them staying over.

'Okay, we'll be back soon to get some spare clothes.' James said.

'See you then.' John said, then ended the call.

Kerry had gone downstairs to tell everyone the news. When she emerged, she ran up a different set of steps.

'Where you going?' asked Skakeel.

'Get the duffel.' Kerry said.

In no time at all, Kerry was back with a black duffel on her back.

When they were out the door, Kerry announced; 'I planted three cameras and bugs in Mika's room. We might not get anything, though. She's not a main suspect.'

'It was still a good one, Kez.' James said, calling Kerry by her nickname.

'Thanks.'

Kerry revelled in the fact _she_ was the one who had done something good for a change, and fell in a proud silence. No-one else had much to say.

The rest of the walk was spent in silence.

_Author Notes_

_Okay you guys, the next chapter will be up as soon as I've finished it. I think this is enough and I don't want it to be too long._

_There was no main song as there was a few already, and I didn't want to confuse you. The next chapter will be the sleepover, and the chapter will be a reflection, and that one, not planned to be that long._

_Love 2 you all,_

_Bex_


End file.
